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There were four of us on a conference call set up using Skype. We were chatting away. I happened to call my friend Craig a rude name. He responded in kind, calling me a mother f***ing c*** sucker. All part of the normal course of events when blokes get together.
Unfortunately for Craig he wasn’t aware that his wife was standing directly behind him. Nor did he anticipate the verbal slap she gave him for using such offensive language. His response was to apologies and (partly due to three of his friends listening in) laugh slightly.
This didn’t really quell his good lady’s anger. She explained this to him in no uncertain terms. He tried to keep a straight face. In his ear three men laughed quietly. Another titter slipped from his lips.
The shout of, “This is no laughing matter!” sobered him up. The rest of us chewed knuckles, desks and microphones to stop any sound getting out. It helped for all of thirty seconds.
I have not cried so much with laughter for many months. My stomach ached for a while afterwards. Writing this now is making me grin like a school boy. I’d like to thank all concerned. It was one of the best Skype calls this year. Nearly as good as the one where I started adlibbing to songs with lyrics that weren’t that flattering to anyone concerned.
Alarm Clock
Below is a list of things I don’t recommend in combination. (Individually, or in small groups, they are probably fine.)
- Putting all the birthdays for your friends in Outlook.
- Leaving your mobile phone turned on at night.
- Putting the phone on your bedside table when you go to sleep.
- Forgetting to turn off the reminder in Outlook which goes off at 6:00 am when a birthdays due.
- Synchronising the calendar on your phone with the one in Outlook.
Being woken up thirty minutes before you usually start to stir is less fun than over sleeping by the same amount of time. It leaves you feeling tired all day.
From now on, I will be making sure there are no alarms set for birthday reminders. Ever!
I wasn’t going to write a blog tonight, but while checking out other NaNo bloggers I found this article with some rather disturbing (and cool) pictures by Joshua Hoffine. Be warned, don’t go anywhere near them if you don’t like spiders or are of a nervous disposition (and you’re all going to look 
).
Many thanks to Heather Mark for posting these.
In a world where nearly every model is size zero it’s great to see some advertising going against this idea that slim is better. Wilkinsons in the UK (http://www.wilkinsonplus.com/) have been taking a stand by putting a cat with a fuller figure on all their cat food products. While Whiskers and Go Cat use slim young beauties promoting a look that most middle aged cats struggle to keep up with we should all applaud this retailer.
Fat Cat Food
Trains are not proving lucky for me at the moment. After the ticket issuing farce a couple of weeks ago, Thursday of last week took being late having missed a train to a new level – a level that involves not actually getting home.
I had caught a train to Leicester at 18:30 as I was going out for a meal and a few drinks. On the fast train this is only about 20 minutes and costs £8.00 return so it’s neither expensive nor difficult and catching the train means I can have a beer or two.
The train on the way to Leicester was an experience in itself as there were three carriages and people were rammed on far beyond the point of a few needing to stand – there were people crouched in the baggage storage and others were getting turned away. The reason for this overcrowding was due to a drivers strike on Midland Mainline.
Knowing that I needed to get a train back again at around 23:30, as I walked out of Leicester station I searched for someone to tell me what trains were actually running, but as there was a strike there wasn’t anyone around, so I put it to the back of my mind and went to have some food.
Earlier than planned (about 22:10) I got the phone number for National Rail Enquiries, thinking it would be a good idea to know if I needed to be at the station before 23:00 in case the 23:30 train had been cancelled. You can imagine that I was a bit taken aback when I was told I had already missed the last train to Nottingham.
“Are there any trains via other cities?” I asked. “I sorry, sir, but there aren’t any trains.” Oh!
I’ve often found that unless one has millions of pounds to spend, the skill of begging always comes in useful, especially when one finds ones self in the wrong city with no sensible way of getting home. Thank goodness for kind people with spare rooms.
I had a meeting this morning in Derby and as normal I was using the train (a more civilised mode of transport). Tickets had been ordered for me so I went to the collection machine and inserted my card and the tickets were duly dispersed.
I gave momentary thought to the fact that I didn’t have to enter my reference number and that five slips was more than normal, but my mind was on other things.
While settling myself down on the train I took a moment to organise my tickets and happened to glance at the details. Where Derby should have been was the word Leicester. I checked the other slips only to find I had a set of Nottingham to Leicester tickets.
After a moments confusion I realised the machine had dispensed another set of tickets I had booked for next week.
I put my coat back, picked up my bag and left the train. By the time I returned to the platform the train had left. I consoled myself that it was only 8:00 am and I’d already learnt something new.
